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What is 'The Dark Night of the Soul'?

Updated: Nov 17, 2021

The“Dark Night of the Soul” is a part of every human experience. But what is it? It is a term used in personal and spiritual development, and is actually a concept that dates back centuries.

There are poems written about the Dark Night of the Soul, but my favorite descriptor comes from Eckhart Tolle, a German spiritual teacher and self-help author. Tolle said, “The ‘dark night of the soul’ is a term used to describe what one could call a collapse of a perceived meaning in life…an eruption into your life of a deep sense of meaninglessness. Nothing makes sense anymore, there’s no purpose to anything. Sometimes it’s triggered by some external event, some disaster perhaps, on an external level.”

Others call this an existential crisis. Out of all the things I’ve read about Dark Night of the Soul, one word sticks out to me: Meaninglessness. When you’re working toward a higher vibration and elevating spirit toward your highest good--to live in a different state of being than the framework of your upbringing programmed for you--you can expect the dark night of the soul to arise—sometimes more than once!

Though our brains are designed to avoid pain at all costs, the Dark Night of the Soul is so vital and necessary in the process of personal development because it is, in many ways, a death. The “old you,” is no longer, and you are now living in a more conscious state of being with a deeper connection to your soul’s journey.

In his book, “Dark Nights of the Soul,” the psychotherapist and former Catholic monk, Thomas Moore, writes, “The dark night calls for a spiritual response, not only a therapeutic one...The dark night calls upon the affected person ‘to remain in the present, not bound or deluded by the past and not imprisoned in a fixed and defensive idea about the future…the most difficult challenge is to let the process take place, and yet that is the only release from the pressure of the dark night.’”

What I teach my students in my personal love coaching programs, Diva University and Boss Diva University, about the Dark Night of the Soul is that it is a necessary part of the journey. It shows that you are progressing towards your desired goals.

The Dark Night of the soul is your subconscious mind fighting the change into an unknown reality because the subconscious mind's job is to keep you alive through predictability. The only way that it can predict the future is by recreating your past. However your past contains the trauma, hurts, and dysfunctions that you are working hard to let go of so you must walk through this Dark Night to the other side where your joy, peace, and happiness lies. The more you embrace the process while continuing to reprogram your mind, the faster you will arrive in a state of being in which everything seems to reflect that which you've been working, wishing, and praying for. The Dark Night of the Soul may happen a few times during your healing journey.

One of my personal Dark Nights of the Soul lasted for six months when I was scaling my company into a multi-million dollar company. I grew up in lack, witnessing my parents struggle financially on a regular basis. Sometimes we would wonder if we would even have a Christmas based on the fact that my father and mother ran a heating and air conditioning company in Florida--and since Florida would not really get that cold in the winter, business was always slow during that time. I had to retrain my mind to accept and expect abundance in my life that went beyond anything that I had ever experienced. That meant that I have to retrain my subconscious mind and go through the challenge of appreciating a new financial normal.

Through my own experiences with Dark Night of the Soul, I discovered one very important thing: the only way out was through, and what I did to persevere through the pain was meditating on a daily basis while listening to program hypnosis and positive meditation at night while I slept and being very patient with myself. When I came out on the other side, I found myself feeling free and liberated from the chains that kept me stuck in a reality that was painful. Then I ended up making over $2 million in less than two years since starting the journey to scale my business as a full-time gig.

The great thing about this part of the journey is that it means you are on the brink of a breakthrough. How exciting! Photo source: Engin Akyurt via

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Nov 07, 2021

I’m definitely in this place and I want to cone out of it my past keeps resurfacing and I don’t want to undo all the hard work and transformation I’ve made because I can’t let go of the past

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