Updated: Jun 29, 2021
The Diva Diaries is a new weekly blog series chronicling the experience of a DIVA University student and client. For privacy purposes, the author chooses to remain anonymous, but in doing so, is able to candidly and unabashedly pour her heart out to readers while documenting her journey.
Source: Google Play Store
I began my DIVA University journey this week. I spent time getting organized without getting ahead of myself--even though I peeked a little bit at what’s to come and thought about skipping around. But then I heard a voice inside my head shout, “NO, MA’AM.” So, for now, I’m working on Cup of Healing, the first course of this journey. Healing inner wounds, inner child, and traumas from your past. Oof. Do you see why I wanted to skip it?
Writing has always been my thing, and there’s a writing/journaling component to the course, but I find myself holding back and I don’t know why. Is it because I’m afraid of what will come out? Maybe. Is it because I’m a geriatric millennial and my hand cramps up from being on my phone all day? Probably. I think it’s mostly because I am so sick of being with myself and my thoughts. I blame the pandemic.
I think taking a step back when you know you’re not giving it your all is always a good idea. So I sat back, grabbed the remote and began scrolling through Netflix. Netflix content is always reliable when you want to stir up emotions that are blocked within you. I wanted to feel lovey dovey to help inspire me, so I landed on a Barbra Streisand movie I vaguely remember from the 90s called “The Mirror Has Two Faces” (I’ll pause here for judgment, reaction, and eye rolling). I didn’t know anything about the storyline, I didn’t even read the description--and I wondered if I’d get more than 5 minutes into the movie before I was distracted. Hear me out, though--I’m going somewhere with this. Quick synopsis: A middle-aged, single frumpy professor (Barbra), meets a smokin’ hot, quirky professor (Jeff Bridges). He has a track record of falling hard for women who use him for sex and attention, who always end up hurting him. He decides that pattern hasn’t served him well, so when he meets Barbra, he decides he wants to form a strictly platonic friendship, behave like a couple--but without physical intimacy. Not even kissing. They even get married as “companions,” because their friendship is so strong. But it stops there--they even have separate beds when they move in together. It’s cringey! The problem is: she’s in love with him. She has spent her life feeling like she’d never be good enough to have a passionate, romantic relationship with all the bells and whistles (friendship, respect, great sex, etc.) so she settles for being friendzoned and wifed up at the same time. The worst part is, she does so feeling like in time, she can turn the relationship into a romantic, passionate, sexual one (Story. Of. My. Life). It blows up in her face majorly--it was very upsetting. Rightfully so, she’s devastated when he rejects her. She moves out and doesn’t talk to him for a month, ditches junk food for the gym, fully activates her feminine energy, gets a makeover (inside and out), and voila! She’s her best self! To the average viewer, this would be cliche--ugly duckling turns into a swan--but to a DIVA in DIVA University, it reinforces everything I’ve been learning from Shay: Barbra worked on self love, deciding what she really wanted in life, and activated her feminine energy. Her character even attracted an old crush who would never give her the time of day. When they were getting hot and heavy in one scene, she stopped as if something snapped inside of her, and she said to this guy, “You’re not good enough for me.” YASSSS HUNNEEEE! Anyways, Jeff Bridges sees this new version of her--wearing heels, makeup, a little black dress--and he loses his damn mind. They end up proclaiming their love for each other in the street, the end.
I mean. I was ugly crying by the end of this movie. It hit home. There’s not a shadow of a doubt that I watched this movie out of sheer coincidence. I am very much the type of person who notices signs and synchronicities everywhere. I even get greedy and ask the universe out loud for specific signs. You should try it! Recently, I wanted to see if my crush was into me, or just not that into me (I guess I didn’t need a sign to tell me that if I was already asking the damn spirit world), so I said--OUT LOUD-- “Show me lilies if he’s the one, show me daffodils if he is not.” That very night, I’m watching a TV show, and there’s a scene where the main character is creating a new fragrance. He has a flashback to childhood, where someone is placing a flower crown on someone else’s head--made of daffodils. My jaw dropped. To make matters worse--it flashed to the lead actor onscreen speaking a line that was simply one word: “DAFFODILS.” Ok, spirit guides, I hear you loud and clear!
I was tickled and delighted by the message “A Mirror Has Two Faces” reinforced from my learnings in DIVA University: 1. Love yourself 2. Value yourself 3. Attract, do not chase 4. Do not settle 5. You are the prize I just remembered while I was writing this that Barbra Streisand is often referred to as a “Diva.” And, the most coincidental part of all: the theme song composed for that film is “I Finally Found Someone” by Barbra Streisand and Bryan Adams--a song that I have on my love manifestation playlist. And I promise I had no idea it was from that movie! So thank you, Barbra, I’m ready to begin my healing.