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And Just Like That, 'Sex and the City' Ruined Women's Ideas of Healthy Love

In a World Full of Mr. Bigs--Find Your Harry

On Dec. 9, the new “Sex and the City" series, “And Just Like That,” will premiere on HBO Max. While women across the globe are rejoicing that their favorite New York girlfriends are coming back to the small screen, I sincerely hope that their messages about love, relationships, and self-esteem are actually healthy this time around. Back in the late 1990s and early 2000s “Sex and the City” was a groundbreaking television show. It celebrated sexuality, showed us funny dating stories, and tugged at our heartstrings. For an entire generation of girls stepping into their womanhood, Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte perfectly captured the quintessential personalities in every friend group. Women would say, “I’m a Samantha,” or “I’m a Carrie,” without realizing that they were subscribing to toxicity. If you wanted to be a successful businesswoman and lead with your sexuality, you were a “Samantha,” and if you were a creative fashionista who had that one guy in her life she just couldn’t shake off, you were a “Carrie.”

Here’s the thing: we should have all been trying to be a “Charlotte.” Charlotte is a self-sufficient, feminine, powerful, DIVA (Divine, Intelligent, Vivacious, and Alluring) woman who was not content having copious amounts of casual sex and aimlessly dating. Most of the time, Charlotte wanted a proper courtship with the intent of marriage. Time and again, though, Charlotte was painted in a pathetic light, with the reputation of being out of touch and unrealistic in her desires. Her relationship with her first husband, Trey, was--for all intents and purposes--done right. They met, he courted her, she did not jump right into bed with him, she made him earn her before a commitment, and they got married. But on TV, their relationship was painted as a “fairytale gone wrong,” sending a very clear message to women watching: “A successful doctor who doesn’t try to sleep with you and wants to marry you and make you happy is a big joke. He is too good to be true.” Even when Charlotte divorced Trey, she ended up accidentally attracting her divorce lawyer, Harry. May I pause so we can all appreciate the amazing man that Harry Goldenblatt is? While the show’s creators want fans to obsess about Carrie’s boyfriends--Big, Aiden, Berger, and Petrovsky--everyone is overlooking the one man in that entire series who was worth a second thought: Harry Goldenblatt. Harry is educated, successful, wealthy, ambitious, godly, faithful, family-oriented, and when he laid eyes on Charlotte, he had to have her and was willing to do whatever it took to win her over. And that is exactly what I teach my clients to attract in Diva and Boss Diva Universities. To this day, people are debating whether Carrie should have ended up with Mr. Big or Aiden. Um, ladies, Carrie was a big ol’ hot mess with attachment issues and an addiction to toxic relationships. She consistently chased Mr. Big for years and in the 2008 movie, ended up marrying him (after he left her at the altar). This toxic man and their toxic relationship has been romanticized for decades. In the meantime, Harry and Charlotte are over in the corner living the dream!!! The moral of the story is: We should all strive to be a Charlotte, not a Carrie. And single women everywhere should hope to attract a Harry. Photo source:

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