top of page

Shay's Picks: The Best Books for Dating and Relationships

Updated: Nov 17, 2021

Shay Levister holds a copy of her book, "The Single D.I.V.A.'S Guide to the Science of Attracting Love

I have been shot in the chest, had a heart attack at 30, almost died during childbirth twice, unknowingly married a bigamist, and almost died 5 times. Even with all of that, my most challenging life lesson was learning how to heal childhood trauma and debilitating beliefs so that I could attract a healthy, whole, loving relationship and do it as a single, divorced mother of two! As a pre-med Biology graduate, I did an experiment of going on over 100 dates and interviewing over 3,700 men, women, and couples so that I could learn the secrets of attracting a man. My life transformed when I went on a spiritual, self-healing journey while applying the advice in this book so that I could attract the right man God selected for me. Ultimately, I married my soulmate, who happened to be my high school sweetheart and life-long friend, two years later. This was so that I could gather as much firsthand information to develop my programs, D.I.V.A. University and Boss D.I.V.A. University. During that experiment, I also read hundreds of relationship books to help support my teachings. Some were great, some were terrible, and some were the same old things everyone teaches. But, if you are someone who is looking to enhance their self-development journey in their quest to attract love, or someone who wants to improve the state of their current relationship, or someone who has never dated and doesn’t know where to start, then DIVA, get reading! Here are some of my favorite books on dating and relationships:

  1. A Single Diva’s Guide to the Science of Attracting Love by Shay Levister Obviously this one is at the very top. This comprehensive guide to dating, relationships, and attracting love (not finding love, but attracting love) is for women in every season of life. In this “single woman’s Bible,” I share my journey and the lessons learned through my own mistakes. But I also provide practical advice mixed with old school rules--backed by the science of human behavior, and the Law of Attraction. This combination helps empower singles seeking true love to attract their soulmate quickly. This book is a drastic change from many other dating advice books and is sure to produce positive results in your love life!

  2. Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray In his classic guide to understanding the opposite sex, Dr. John Gray provides a practical and proven way for men and women to improve their communication and relationships by acknowledging the differences between them.Once upon a time Martians and Venusians met, fell in love, and had happy relationships together because they respected and accepted their differences. Then they came to Earth and amnesia set in: They forgot they were from different planets. Based on years of successful counseling of couples and individuals, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus has helped millions of couples transform their relationships. Now viewed as a modern classic, this timeless book has helped men and women realize how different they can be in their communication styles, their emotional needs, and their modes of behavior, and offers the secrets of communicating without conflicts, allowing couples to give intimacy every chance to grow.

  3. All the Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right by Ellen Fein Ellen Fein’s previous works include “The Rules,” “The Rules II,” and were among the original guides to guiding women to their feminine. According to Amazon, this book is, “Refreshingly blunt, astonishingly effective, and at times hilarious, All the Rules will lead you to where you want to be: in a healthy, committed relationship. These commonsense guidelines will help you: -Lead a full, satisfying, busy life outside of romance. -Accept occasional defeat and move on. -Bring out the best in you and in the men you date. -Whether you're eighteen or eighty, these time-tested techniques will help you find the man of your dreams.

  4. Why Men Love Bitches by Sherry Argov Sherry Argov’s Why Men Love Bitches delivers a unique perspective as to why men are attracted to a strong woman who stands up for herself. With saucy detail on every page, this no-nonsense guide reveals why a strong woman is much more desirable than a “yes woman” who routinely sacrifices herself. The author provides compelling answers to the tough questions women often ask: Why are men so romantic in the beginning and why do they change? -Why do men take nice girls for granted? -Why does a man respect a woman when she stands up for herself? Full of advice, hilarious real-life relationship scenarios, “she says/he thinks” tables, and the author’s unique “Attraction Principles,” Why Men Love Bitches gives you bottom-line answers. It helps you know who you are, stand your ground, and relate to men on a whole new level. Once you’ve discovered the feisty attitude men find so magnetic, you’ll not only increase the romantic chemistry—you’​ll gain your man's love and respect with far less effort.

  5. Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden Speaking to us with the wisdom of age and in a voice at once haunting and startlingly immediate, Nitta Sayuri tells the story of her life as a geisha. It begins in a poor fishing village in 1929, when, as a nine-year-old girl with unusual blue-gray eyes, she is taken from her home and sold into slavery to a renowned geisha house. We witness her transformation as she learns the rigorous arts of the geisha: dance and music; wearing kimono, elaborate makeup, and hair; pouring sake to reveal just a touch of inner wrist; competing with a jealous rival for men's solicitude and the money that goes with it. In Memoirs of a Geisha, we enter a world where appearances are paramount; where a girl's virginity is auctioned to the highest bidder; where women are trained to beguile the most powerful men; and where love is scorned as illusion. It is a unique and triumphant work of fiction—at once romantic, erotic, suspenseful—and completely unforgettable.

  6. Calling In The One: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life by Katherine Woodward Thomas In Calling in “The One, Katherine Woodward Thomas shares her own personal experience to show women that in order to find the relationship that will last a lifetime, you have to be truly open and ready to create a loving, committed, romantic union. Calling in “The One” shows you how. Based on the Law of Attraction, which is the concept that we can only attract what we’re ready to receive, the provocative yet simple seven-week program in “Calling in The One,” prepares you to bring forth the love you seek. For each of the 49 days of Thomas’s thoughtful and life-affirming plan, there is a daily lesson, a corresponding practice, and instruction for putting that lesson into action in your life. Meditation, visualization, and journaling exercises will gently lead you to recognize the obstacles on your path to love and provide ways to steer around them. At the end of those 49 days, you will be in the ideal emotional state to go out into the world and find “The One.” An inspirational approach that offers a radical new philosophy on relationships, “Calling in The One” is a guide to finding the love you seek.

For more information about dating, love, relationships, and finding self-love, follow me on

602 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page