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Women and the Problem with Porn, Hookup Culture, and Soul Ties


Women from across the globe come to me EVERY SINGLE DAY in search of self-development and spiritual awakening. The purpose of the work I do is to help women heal and become their best selves, shed their limiting beliefs, and discover unconditional self-love. In doing so, it opens their world to abundance and unlimited possibilities. But one of the most popular stories I hear is when a woman comes to me and she’s completely hung up on some Build-A-Bear Scrub who she has been Netflix and Chilling with, who–surprise!–doesn’t want a committed relationship with her. Now, I say that with sarcasm, but I really say that with true compassion. We have ALL been there, ladies. We have all sought out approval from an emotionally unavailable man, thrown our standards out the window, and lowered ourselves down to be a “cool girl” so that we can earn a man. But there comes a time in a woman’s life when she has to put her foot down and say, “No Ma’am!” I talk a lot about Breaking Soul Ties in my teachings, and for any of my clients, I have a whole section of my programs devoted to it. A Soul Tie is an energetic cord that is formed between you and a man that you have had sex with. The cord is an inexplicable, powerful emotional bond to another person–oftentimes one who isn’t that great. But since sex is an energetic exchange, it’s not surprising that women form soul ties that bind them to a man who doesn’t want them. This is a result of Hookup Culture. The normalization of having sex with strangers has increased to shocking highs. A lot of women who come to me for help tell me they need to learn how to date in order to attract high-value men and inevitably--their soulmate.


The women I hear from are ones who have–more than once, and sometimes on a regular basis–go to bed with a man on the first date. Dating app culture has greatly contributed to this. We have dating apps on the market that are specifically designed for people to find nearby sexual partners. This is not about sex-shaming, this is science. Besides risking your sexual health, and forming a soul tie which is bad for your emotional wellbeing–biochemically, women release a chemical called oxytocin when they have sex with a man. This is the same chemical released when a woman has a baby–it causes extreme bonding. Women are at higher risk of falling in love through sex. Men are at virtually zero risk of falling in love through sex. In fact, men are at high risk of discarding a woman he has sex with too soon before he’s had enough time to learn her last name. Which is why I encourage women to hold off on having sex until at least the commitment stage of a relationship. When we have sex too soon, we put on rose-colored glasses and are actually unable to see and process the red flags before us. It would behoove you to take the time to date, get to know, build trust, and have a solid understanding of a man’s intentions and who he is before having sex. I said what I said.


I also feel that pornography plays a huge role in hookup culture, which leads to powerful soul ties running rampant everywhere, resulting in broken people and unhealthy relationships. Granted, that is my bread and butter, but I don’t want it to be! I want women to be happy, whole, and woke. That is my life’s mission and my purpose. Porn is so easily accessible, and it’s everywhere. I fear that women who consume moderate to high amounts of pornography have false ideas about what it means for a man to fall in love with a woman. Let me say it again for the ladies in the back: Men DO NOT FALL IN LOVE THROUGH SEX. WOMEN DO.


And before you can say, “Shay, some men do fall in love through sex,” I’ll have to stop you right there. The only men who fall in love through sex are narcissists, ma’am. And that’s another blog for another day. Ladies, do me a favor and stay away from porn. I’m not saying don’t feed Hello Kitty when she’s “hungry,” because self-love and self-care is very important! Besides the fact that porn subliminally delivers a horrific and negative message about what types of women’s bodies are considered sexually desirable, please know that the type of sex you see on video is entirely choreographed and not at all indicative of the type of soulmate sex you can expect to have with your perfect partner and romantic best friend. Soulmate sex is on another level. And it’s WORTH waiting for. And as far as your body image goes–I say it to my clients all the time. You are perfect and divine as you are. Eating right and exercising is going to only contribute to you feeling your best, which will cause you to attract more in this world. But please do not be hung up on love handles, saggy breasts, fupas, stretch marks, et al. Men prefer a REAL woman’s body. Look back through the history of art and you will see voluptuous, round, Rubenesque women. That was desirable then, and it’s desirable now. You are someone’s flavor of ice cream, and don’t ever forget it. I know, I sound super old-fashioned. But I am also an expert in relationships, as well as the science of love and attraction. I know how minds work. I’m the best at what I do, and I have spent a lot of time educating myself on how to transform women’s minds and thinking so that they can effectively change their lives. I have a 98% success rate with my clientele. These behaviors have more of an adverse effect on you than you realize. If you are interested in learning more about my programs and offerings, I invite you to check out my DIVA University and Boss DIVA University programs here. Be sure to also follow me on Instagram and TikTok for more great content, advice, and inspiration! Photo Source: Anna Shvets via Pexels.com


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