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DIVA DIARIES: The Ghost of Christmas Present

The Diva Diaries is a weekly blog series chronicling the experience of a DIVA University student and client. For privacy purposes, the author chooses to remain anonymous, but in doing so, is able to candidly and unabashedly pour her heart out to readers while documenting her journey.

Over the last couple of weeks, I began to feel like I was getting my mojo back--and I was! I had joined Facebook dating, because I was hearing from a few of my friends that it was actually a great place to be. When I had tried Facebook dating a couple of years ago--well, let me just say that if OkCupid is the Walmart of dating apps, then Facebook Dating was the Dollar General of dating apps back then. I decided to give it a try, and right away started to see that there was, in fact, a higher caliber of men on Facebook dating. Right away, I connected with a man who, upon screening his profile, was very high value. We hit it off straight away and set a date to meet for coffee in my neck of the woods for 10 a.m. on Sunday, the day after Christmas. I was following Shay's rules to a T, and committed to doing so for this next date opportunity. We had exchanged a few messages on Christmas Eve & Day, just to keep the momentum going, and he asked if I was still interested in meeting up on Sunday. I said I was, and he seemed relieved. He said he would touch base on Sunday morning about our date. I looked forward to this date all throughout Christmas. I woke up that morning and used the good shampoo, and got way glammed up for a casual Sunday morning coffee date. But it was 9 a.m., and he hadn't touched base yet. I started to get a bad feeling in my stomach. Dread. My accountability manager told me she thought it would be ok for me to send a message to check in, so I did. "Hi there, are we still on for 10 a.m.?" No response. 10, 15, 30 minutes go by and no response. There I was--all dressed up and nowhere to go. I had been stood up. Properly stood up. So, instead of sitting at home and letting it all go to waste, I took myself to the coffee shop we were supposed to meet at anyway, and had a $4 latte, and enjoyed discovering a really cute spot I had never been to before. I brushed it off, I laughed it off. Whatever that was had nothing to do with me, and I tried my hardest to realize that Universe was sending me a gift by having that man stand me up. It showed me that there are still human beings out there who talk the talk and cannot walk the walk. I guess this hit a little differently because it was the second time I'd been stood up in the same week. Granted, the first occurrence was a man telling me he'd "call me" the next day and I just never heard from him. And let's not forget the son of my parents' friends, an eligible bachelor who is looking for the same things I am looking for, who I have never met personally, but his mom keeps mentioning she wants to fix us up. "Ok, so fix us up," I wanted to tell her. But instead, after she mentioned it about 500 times the last time I saw her, said, "I'm dating too, and I'm sure any son of yours is a wonderful guy. If he'd like to text me and ask me out, please give him my phone number." Not a few days after this conversation did that same guy pop up on Facebook dating (I had seen his photo so I knew who he was). I contemplated my move. What do I do? Do I swipe left (no) and bypass the chance for us to get to know each other? Or do I swipe right (yes) and take a chance? Ultimately, I avoided the app for a day after he popped up because I couldn't decide, and I thought swiping right wouldn't hurt a thing. So I did. And guess what? He never swiped right back on me. His mom, who I speak to semi-often via text, mentioned it AGAIN a couple of days ago. I had to tell her, "Yeah, I saw your son on a dating app and he didn't swipe on me, I guess it's not a match after all." That shut her up. Anyways, all three of them are metaphorically dead now because I blocked them on the dating apps and moved on. In fact, for a moment there I was glad I did because I connected on Facebook dating with a really cute guy I'd seen on Hinge a few months ago. We matched on Hinge but never got the conversation going. We were hitting it off on Facebook and I was super intrigued and giddy. We chatted a bit and I started to have a voice inside my head that was wondering, "Is this guy a" And when I asked him which neighborhood he lived in he told me he was currently "staying" in a church basement. A homeless shelter. A homeless guy. FFS! Now I was really laughing. Because what else would I do? I know my soulmate is on his way to me--but Universe is having a GRAND ol' time messing with me in the meantime. Photo source: Chad Madden via Unsplash

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I'm loving the maintenance of the positive attitude. Please get off of Facebook Dating and Hinge and let them swip right on you first! Keep going! It will all be worth it. ❤ - Your Love Coach

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