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DIVA Diaries: The Power of Red Lipstick

The Diva Diaries is a weekly blog series chronicling the experience of a DIVA University student and client. For privacy purposes, the author chooses to remain anonymous, but in doing so, is able to candidly and unabashedly pour her heart out to readers while documenting her journey

I felt my mood taking a downturn last week. I began dwelling on the past, on past failed relationships and asking myself what all of this was for. By the time Saturday rolled around, I had the day to myself and the only thing I wanted to do was lay in bed and order food. And, while that might sound like a dream come true in any other circumstance, I knew it would probably not help my sadness. Instead, I took a warm bath, read my copy of, “Why Men Love Bitches,” and then turned on a gratitude meditation from Diva University Plus. I’m really happy I had the meditation to turn to, as I was missing my gratitude and instead focusing on lack and scarcity. After my bath, I put on a burnt orange sweater, skinny jeans, booties, did my hair, and put on my red lipstick. I was headed out to take myself on a date. Shay teaches everyone to wear red--and especially red lipstick. I have been very against red lipstick my entire life. I used to think it made me look old, and was too bold for me, but I’ve gotten used to it now. I will say that when I began wearing red lipstick to work, I would get a lot of compliments. It makes a statement, that’s for sure. I knew that having a day to myself presented two choices: 1. Sit at home with my thoughts about the past or 2. Take the opportunity to put myself out there and practice what I’m learning in Diva University. Shay suggests being out in public as much as possible, but not necessarily buried in your phone or on your laptop, or reading a book. She actually teaches us about making eye contact and smiling at people and holding the gaze while doing so. I ended up at a breakfast spot and got a Table for one. The cafe was small and there was a nice mix of full tables and empty. I ordered a cup of coffee and a cup of soup, and tried not to be on my phone too much. There weren’t many people to make eye contact with, but the server who was waiting on me was an easy person to start with. Whenever he came by to ask me a question, I looked him in the eyes, smiled and responded femininely. When he brought me the check, he said, “I really like your makeup, I love the red lipstick. It looks very pretty.”

Well daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!

I was off to a great start! After that, I decided to run errands and a few hours went by before I had to head home. I stopped and bought a new red lipstick that seemed more high quality than the Wet ‘N Wild $4 lipstick from CVS I’ve been using. I threw it on and felt amazing! I decided rather than waste this look, I would take myself for a nice evening glass of wine at one of my favorite wine bars. Same deal, I walked in, asked for a table for one. I ordered a glass of red sparkling wine and tried to make eye contact with a few gentlemen in the place, but it was hard!!! Holding someone’s gaze for more than half a second is extremely difficult for me! I was surprised, considering my entire life, many people have told me I am self-assured and confident. I realized in that moment that maybe I’m only that way with women--and with men, I feel completely inadequate. So, I compromised with myself. I was sitting next to the window and lots of people were walking by, and I made eye contact with men passing by and held their gaze and tried to smile. It took a few tries before I met the eyes of a man walking by, smiled bright and locked my eyes to his. He stared back, and his eyes shifted momentarily before finding mine again. Then, I lost my focus. But hey! It was a great start, and excellent practice. Never underestimate the power of red lipstick. Photo source: Sam Lion via

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