The Diva Diaries is a weekly blog series chronicling the experience of a DIVA University student and client. For privacy purposes, the author chooses to remain anonymous, but in doing so, is able to candidly and unabashedly pour her heart out to readers while documenting her journey.
Being an elder millennial, I’ve managed to gain some life experience in my 30+ years. While I’ve struggled with anxiety, depression, postpartum anxiety and depression (and all of its sister mood disorders), I’ve worked very hard the last few years to overcome these disorders and learn how to cope with them with minimal medication and through spiritual practice.
Not that I’m an expert, but I definitely taught myself how to cope when the world feels like it’s crumbling around me. Something I learned along the way, though, was that my energy, my vibe, and the light that shines brightly within me is sacred. It is what I like to call “my favorite part of me.” When I’m vibing high, my intuition is on point, I am magnetic, and my face glows. I will actually get stopped on the street and told that I’m beautiful when I’m at my highest high.
This is exactly why I need to protect that energy of mine at all costs. While I feel confident in my coping skills and know how to care for myself so that my light shines bright, I also realize that life is ever-changing, and some days catch you off guard--and that can be a good thing or a bad thing. My energy--our energy--is so precious that it could be knocked off-kilter just by winding up in the same vicinity as someone whose energy is dark, negative, and bitter.
This happened to me recently. I was at work in a brand new dress that made me feel beautiful, feminine, and confident. I wore heels, red lipstick, earrings, and my hair was curly and big. My appearance had been complimented that day by a few colleagues. I was feeling good! I sat in a Zoom meeting with about 30 people for a work project, and afterward, a few of my colleagues stepped out of their offices to congregate in the common area to reflect on the meeting. One woman in particular who I work with began making some jokes--negative jokes--and they quickly became critical comments. And those critical comments quickly became a venting session about our bosses and their bosses and the project.
Suddenly, something came over me and I just walked away from the group out the door. She was sucking my energy because she felt crappy that day. I couldn’t believe how she was making such a concerted effort to bring everyone down so she could feel good. Misery loves company--and in this case, it really did. Before I let it get too far, I physically removed myself in order to protect my energy.
This past weekend, too, a friend of mine visited who I haven’t seen in a few years. She is going through a divorce and needed to get away from it all. Having been there myself, and because I’m a good friend, I wanted to be supportive.
Part of me knew that discussing her divorce would dredge up memories of my divorce, but I’ve worked hard in DIVA University to forgive and move on from that experience. I know that just because I’ve moved on doesn’t mean the pain and some of the trauma is gone forever, but it’s a lot less debilitating now.
Before I knew what hit me, my friend was not just discussing her divorce, she was just discussing my divorce--the divorce which happened two years ago. And what was worse, I was discussing my divorce as well. I was reliving so many painful memories and instances and I kept asking myself “why are you allowing this to happen? Stop!” but I didn’t! Not only was it discussing my divorce, but it was discussing the effect it had on my children, my family, our mutual friends, etc. She was also lamenting about her bad dating experiences and divulging that she’s been drinking way too much lately. She is in a dark place, and I was empathetic to that, but man, that was intense.
When she left, I felt exhausted. I could have slept for 12 hours after she walked out the door the next day. I let her vampire my energy. She sucked all of my good, positive, energy from me because she wanted to use it to make herself feel good. And I allowed it to happen. It was both a hard and valuable lesson to learn. And it was a mistake I won’t be making again!
Join DIVA University and learn how to attract the love life you desire.
Photo Source: Pexels.com