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The Do's and Don'ts of App Dating

We live in a society in which single people use dating apps to date. In fact, approximately 30 million Americans have reported using dating sites. And with the new year right around the corner, many dating sites will be advertising significant discounts on membership costs to try to get more singles in their pool.

Whether you’re new to online dating or an old pro, it’s important to remember some of the dating dos and don’ts I teach my clients in DIVA and Boss DIVA Universities. In addition to these tips, please check out my blog about dating safely in the era of apps. DO: Post 5-6 good photos of yourself DON’T: Post suggestive photos, group photos, or all selfies Photos are your calling card on dating apps. I recommend that you pick 5-6 really good photos to use on your profile in order for the essence of who you are to shine through to potential suitors. I recommend the following types of photos: -Headshot -Full Body Shot -Looking Away and Smiling Shot -A photo of you doing something you love -A photo of you laughing and having fun -At least one photo in which you are wearing red clothes and red lipstick DO: Swipe right on/Like men with thoughtfully filled out profiles DON’T: Swipe Right On/Like Men who haven’t filled out their profile, even if they’re hot I believe in swiping right on and liking men who come across your dating app feeds who you seem interested in. But make a rule: if they have thoughtfully filled out the prompts, taken the time to get photos taken of themselves (professional photos get more bonus points!), and have put thought into their profiles, they at least deserve an intro conversation. I cannot tell you how many times I have women putting so much work into men who haven’t filled out their profiles with actual descriptions of themselves to give viewers a glimpse into their lives. When a man is keeping things minimal –meaning, they haven’t filled out any information on the dating profile like an “about me,” or the prompts–he’s lazy!!! Men who take the time on their profiles are more serious about the process. And ladies, do me a favor and automatically disqualify men who:

-Post photos with other women -Post photos of them IN A DIRTY BATHROOM WITH A TOILET IN THE BACKGROUND -Have NO PHOTOS (he’s either married or a sex trafficker)

DO: Have fun conversations!

DON’T: TALK.ABOUT.SEX. Many people use dating apps to effortlessly find a partner to have sex with. Out in the real world, it’s a lot more work to meet someone and gauge if they’re a. Single or b. Interested in you or c. willing to have sex. That’s a LOT of information to cram into an in-person interaction, and truth be told: the digital age and communications have made us socially awkward! So yes, people definitely use dating apps to hook up, and god bless them! But you, my DIVA, are not a cheap woman. DIVAS do not run right to bed and throw the kitty in the air for just any dusty dude. So yes, if a man brings up sex in conversations with you when you’re not in a committed relationship, then that is great information to have, because that means that is what he’s looking for. Furthermore, it means he doesn’t see you as high quality enough and therefore he is willing to risk you walking away in the event that his sex talk doesn’t land. Have fun conversations, but keep it light on the app! Going deeper and getting to know someone is what DATES are for! Photo source: Daria Shevtsova via

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