Memoirs of a DIVA is a blog series following the experience of a Boss DIVA University student and client. For privacy purposes, the author chooses to remain anonymous, but allows the realness to unfold within her entries.
It’s been a while since I pitter-pattered my fingers along my keyboard for the blog, and that’s because so much has changed in the past several months! My life has done a “170” — (yes, you read that correctly) – since my last post. So, not quite a 180, but I’ll get to that in a bit.
For starters, my appearance has changed significantly, and everyone around me says so. The affirmations about my appearance combined with the daily mirror work that we ritualize in DIVA University have changed my reality. It’s an amazing feeling to hear my family and friends say the very same words I tell myself every morning. This just proves that the words you speak over yourself and your life, paired with your thoughts, truly manifests into your reality!
In addition to that, my feminine energy has increased, and I have to say it feels powerful. I’m wearing outfits that I spent years avoiding, and am embracing the parts of me that I could never embrace–stretch marks and all! Diva University has taught me that there’s a man who loves every part of me, especially my soul.
I also ended a 10+ year long career working in an industry that didn’t fulfill me. It was a job I settled for initially, and ended up feeling trapped in due to limitations and an old, tired narrative I spent years telling myself. I’m extremely grateful for that career because it shaped me into the wonderful woman I am today. The skills and talents honed from that job are exactly what led me to a new job, which I adore in ways I never imagined.
After years of searching, I have finally found myself. It is a strange feeling to “meet” yourself after living in your mind and body your entire life. I can honestly say I am genuinely happy and grateful for everything I have. One thing I’ve learned is that I don’t have to live on anyone else’s timeline. I am living the story that I am currently writing, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for me!
As a portrait artist, the unrealistic expectations I placed upon myself were stifling, and I haven’t painted in months. I needed a break from it all, despite being talented and living up to the expectations that I should consistently “love” it. I was pushing so hard to make my identity be “a full-time artist,” because of external pressure. But the greatest gift I’ve ever received was self-realization. Art is a passion, a hobby, and not something that I do for anyone else but me. Achieving balance in my personal and professional life, while making art something I do for fun has never felt better.
Everything I’ve learned in DIVA University has helped me see how many aspects of my life was in shambles, and I felt d*pressed, but allowed myself to get stagnant–and even though I didn’t feel worthy of more, I vowed to myself that I would never let myself get to that place again. I have to admit, there was a time in 2020 when I didn’t plan on sitting here today. Like Shay, I no longer say the “D” word, but trust and believe, I was in it and DEEP, paired with the “S” word. During a time when I planned out every detail of my departure, I wrote my letters to my family and friends and worked to have all my finances in order. At the time, I couldn’t see the forest through the trees. I could not imagine a world in which my life would be peaceful, exhilarating, and beautiful–the way it is now. I learned how to let go of what doesn’t serve me.
Soon after my last blog post, I had an epiphany. Being a DIVA University student has helped me realize how much I want to help women. I have always expressed my desire to help women through my artwork, but my desire to do more was strong. Not only did Shay voluntell me to be an apprentice in her program, but I was then presented with the opportunity of a lifetime to join her team.
Eventually, I upgraded from Diva University to Boss Diva University - and having that kind of personal access to Shay has been a blessing. Things in my life escalated quickly! Shay has told me I am doing great and on the right track, which feels reassuring and exciting.
I moved back to Atlanta, too, and I am the happiest I have ever been! This large and abundant city feels like home. For years, my heart was called to move back. My soulmate is here and I feel so close to him…
…So where does the remaining 10 degrees come into play? I have not been on a date to date. I know you’re probably reading this like WHAT?! And I know, I know. The resistance is too real. Feeling as if I have more work to do equates to not feeling comfortable enough to put myself out there. I am working on this.
I can honestly say that I had a fresh start at the beginning of the year. I rid myself of numerous items from my past, including my wardrobe. Now I embark on filling my wardrobe with clothing, bags and shoes that embody the new woman I am.
With a fresh start, I work to restore balance, indulge in my passions, and continue to explore this beautiful world we live in - especially in Atlanta. It feels great to reunite with my keyboard for the blog and I look forward to continuing this journey with you ❤️.
Photo Source: Pexels.com