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Memoirs of a DIVA Weeks 8 + 9: Observations

During weeks 8 + 9, I took a trip to my hometown, and spent two whole weeks with my family. Covid was also thrown in the mix with a close family member, which shook things up a bit.

Besides my fellow D.I.V.A.s and Shay, no one knows I am in this program. Being that I wasn’t in my habitat, I was thrown off from my normal routine and program work. Alone time was limited as I shared a room, then anytime I spent outside of working remote, I wanted to get as much time in with my parents as possible.

Both of my parents are separated and have either remarried or are about to. It was so nice being around my family and reminiscing on my childhood. Now that my story has changed, I embrace how wonderful my childhood was. The entire trip was nostalgic and eye-opening.

Though my D.I.V.A. University work was limited these past couple of weeks, I noticed somethings I need to further evaluate and work on within myself:

  • I could do a better job of ensuring I’m preserving my energy. I have a family member I stayed with that takes A GREAT DEAL of energy unknowingly. They also love to debate you on quite a bit, and is quite the cynic. I thought I was farther along than I was, but was put to the test haha. I want to learn how to shield myself properly.

  • I’m working to strengthen my manifesting skills, especially when it comes to finances. I want to and ensure I’ve fully healed any lingering limitations financially, so will assess next steps.

I’ve healed so much in these past two months from this program, and naturally want the people I love to heal their traumas and blocks too. I believe in this program so much and want the women I love to join, but know the answer: People have to WANT to change for themselves.

Though I notice my old patterns, thoughts, or behaviors in my family members, I sit in my feminine energy and listen when they come to me. This is a BIG change from the old me: I was bossy as hell! and pushy (cringe). I was genuinely trying to help, but was doing the absolute most, then ended up pushing people away. The new me is the complete opposite. I provide some insight here and there, but only if it’s laid on my heart to do so.

I’ve naturally found myself taking what I have learned in D.I.V.A. University and observing behaviors in others in my life. Of course this isn’t to judge. Repetition is essential for me as an individual, so I love to correlate what I’ve learned to real life circumstances. Below you’ll find a brief description of two women from my recent trip. Again this isn’t to judge, but to an attempt to put out there in case someone can relate:

  1. The Woman who doesn’t really “like” women: This woman is awesome, but she can be a lot to take in at times energy wise. I’ve known her since I was 7 years old, and since then she has vocalized how she thanks God for blessing her with her sons biologically. She expressed how irritating girls can be and how she’s glad she only had boys, although she says her stepdaughters are the exception. She’s expressed how she doesn’t really like to interact with women (or people), period. She is down to (1) girl-friend, whom she considers family. In her eyes, all she needs is her family, and no one else. When she her children visit, she projectiles any reserves onto them, which can be overwhelming to say the least. She also doesn’t have much of a life/ social life outside of her husband, which is draining for him as well. She’s a chain smoker and encourages her husband to smoke, although he shouldn’t due to health conditions.

  1. I used to be like this family member to a degree when it came to friendships with women. I learned that it’s usually easier to blame others, than realize you’re the common denominator. Shay has taught me that being around other women is essential to not only your health as a woman, but also your femininity. This woman is feminine, but her attitude and mentality leans more masculine – her personality is very strong. She seems threatened by the presence of other women, and tries to exert her dominance in the beginning. Also, she’s skeptical of women and puts up a wall. She grew up with girls bullying her, which maybe the cause of this behavior. She refuses to get any sort of help, but doesn’t realize how it’s not only affecting her, but the people around her.

After tuning into Shay’s Lives and speaking with women in my life, I observed that a woman will tolerate SOOOO MUCH nonsense from a man, but throw women aside so easily…why do you think that is?

I believe getting to the root of the why, healing, then working on attracting not only the right man, but the right tribe for you is just as important. The same way you can attract the wrong men, I believe you can attract the wrong PEOPLE in general.

2. The Woman with the need of Certainty: This woman has reunited with her college sweetheart after 30+ years and they are planning to get married soon. She moved from the city I reside in, back to the place she swore she wouldn’t move back to for love. During some of our girl talks, she expressed some of her insecurities surrounding her body. She is actively working to better herself/ health. This triggered memories of past discussions, when she expressed some lingering trust issues/ insecurities due to past infidelities from her fiancé. I realized that she has been putting in a lot of effort into changing her appearance since she got back in a relationship with him. The past women he was with looked a certain way. He has a certain lifestyle and she’s working to be a part of it. She is making sure that she is contributing to living in his home in some way, so she has taken over some of the bills. The engagement/marriage was a mutual discussion, she picked her ring and they ordered it together.

  1. She notices her insecurities, but doesn’t know how to even start working through them. This family member was molested as a child by a stepfather. To this day I see how that power was stripped from her subconsciously. I want so badly to help heal this woman’s sexual trauma, as well as work through healing other blocks that D.I.V.A. University covers. Or, even have her go to therapy, but she doesn’t feel that she needs it. I feel she would greatly benefit from coaching of some sort as this will strengthen her current relationship.

Now I understand I can’t fully speak on her relationship, as I am not in it, but from what she’s told me, she is trying to make up for what she feels she lacks, by doing a lot… even down to the marriage aspect. Due to her past with this man, she NEEDS to feel that this time, everything will turn out better, and the marriage will solidify that. Before she moved into his home, she told him she wasn’t shacking up, so this explains the push for marriage as she’s all moved in.

Shay has mentioned not going back to what hurt you, and I wonder if this is prevalent in this situation even though a lot of time has passed. This woman still needs to fully heal from her past in order to move forward in the best manner. She talks down on herself at times, and I often correct her. You have to love YOU fully before you can love some else. Also, you have to be careful what you’re speaking over yourself and your life.

I write this blog entry to say a few things:

  • It’s up to you to heal and change: We all have something that needs to heal or change. It’s up to you to make the decision to take action and heal yourself for the better. Finding the right coach who can reveal the aspects of yourself you’re unaware of is key, but I think this is where a lot of people either get stuck or turned off from moving forward in the coaching process. If you’re a woman and this resonates, hit up Shay. I promise you, this program will help.

  • Literally changing all aspects of your life, and mindset: As I progress through the program, I notice how much this program helps you get all aspects of your life on track. Yes, this program takes time. But a healthy relationship takes time. Having time to yourself takes time. Being healthy takes time. If you look at things holistically, everything is connected. I’m so thankful I found a program that fully prepares you for the life you want and deserve.

  • Speaking of being prepared: Please don’t do what I did and not plan a way for you to continue your D.I.V.A. University work! I’ve been feeling off and need to regroup, so please learn from my mistake. I thought I was prepared, but wasn’t due to the last minute trip. Don’t delay your work + progress, and stay on track to attracting your true love ♡.

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